who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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