Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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