Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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