they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
