I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
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There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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