whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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