Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
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