Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
