so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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