So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
