your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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