so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
