Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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