I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
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Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
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Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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