Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
