just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
