i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
