so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
