I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
