how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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