I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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