the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
