I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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