Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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