Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
