I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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