I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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