just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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