Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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