I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize