Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
