Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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