If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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