ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm sobbing to NWA
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
