I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize