somebody snuck up and got me drunk
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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