were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
