is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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