just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
