u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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