Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
