But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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