mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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