Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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