What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
