I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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