Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
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Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize