Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
