is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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