You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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