So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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