I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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