i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
