oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We are two peas in an std pod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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