Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
