i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
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I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
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So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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