Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
did i walk over a car last night?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
