her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
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He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
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I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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